Where Did That Behavior Come From? 

Posted: September 6, 2023 | Author: Judy Sklar Rasminsky | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: COVID-19, early childhood educators, pandemic, relationships, social emotional development, young children | 1 Comment

What COVID-19 Taught Preschoolers  

By Barbara Kaiser and Judy Sklar Rasminsky

The outbreak of COVID-19 has produced a collective trauma in our world, and one result is that  everyone is worrying about its catastrophic effects on student learning.

In addition to walloping the math and reading scores of middle and high schoolers, over the past three years school closures and remote learning have hurt students’ mental health and well-being, causing stress, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts and attempts. Children of color and those from low-income families have been especially hard hit, with their test results declining twice as much as those in wealthy neighborhoods.

What about preschoolers?

But our youngest children are dealing with an even tougher situation. The early years are a crucial time, the period of life when the brain is developing most quickly and shapes adult outcomes the most. As a collective trauma, COVID has caused toxic stress and trauma in children, families, and educators. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the U.S. Surgeon General have warned that the pandemic created a national emergency in child mental health.

Without the company of peers and warm, responsive teachers, young children’s social development has suffered severely, and when they finally returned to their child care centers, preschools, elementary schools, and after-school programs, their teachers found that their speech and language were far below normal for their age. 

Their behavior was, too. The children bit, hit, and bullied one another, and they didn’t know how to play, share, take turns, make friends, resolve conflicts, pay attention, follow directions, or control their impulses—all things that children usually learn in their early years. 

Instead, they were unmotivated, irritable, overwhelmed, and lacking in self-confidence, and they cried, withdrew, or became clingy, easily frustrated, or subject to temper tantrums as they struggled with personal touch, big groups, and separation anxiety.  

In one study, 53 percent of early childhood educators observed behavioral changes during the pandemic and 77 percent of them characterized the changes as negative. Here is some of what they found.

The children:

• Easily lost control or became angry or upset 
• Had more temper tantrums
• Behaved in ways that were more unpredictable, oppositional, volatile, and extreme  
• Gave up even on small tasks that presented any challenge 
• Had difficulty concentrating
• Lost self-help skills
• Had trouble with transitions
• Were sad or cried
• Couldn’t process social information and reacted defensively and aggressively when they thought they were being blamed or attacked
• Struggled to get along with others; everything was “me” or “mine”

Children who had lost loved ones had the most difficulty. But they were joined by children who lived in cramped spaces with stressed parents who had lost their jobs and were trying to manage on a reduced income. Lacking adequate technology, routines, and access to exercise and mental health care, these children had learned that the world is a dangerous place and that someone they love might get sick and die. Experts believe that these lessons could stay with them for years, increasing the probability that they will drop out of school and have problems with the police unless they have a supportive adult in their lives and the opportunity to build their resilience. 

Teachers have suffered, too

If you have had a hard time at work, you are not alone: The pandemic affected educators deeply. In one survey of teachers, more than 70 percent reported feeling sad, angry, or anxious. In addition to fearing they would catch COVID, they were burned out—overworked and overwhelmed. Teaching online made them feel isolated, depressed, and ineffective. Fifty percent said they were likely to quit or retire early because of job stress.  And predictably, children in the care of teachers with these feelings were more prone to perform poorly and present behavior problems.

 Children who are dealing with toxic stress and trauma are difficult to teach, and their teachers, who are also experiencing the high cortisol levels associated with these conditions, may find it all too easy to misinterpret a child’s challenging, negative behavior. What looks like defiance may actually be distraction; what seems like disrespect or anger may be depression or pain; and anxiety may present itself as anger, avoidance, or even a stomach ache or a need to use the bathroom.

What can you do about this?

As an educator, you may be (or have been) depressed by the isolation and loneliness the pandemic inflicted on us; or anxious, wondering if your every symptom is COVID or worrying about your financial situation; or grieving if you’ve been unlucky enough to lose a loved one. You may be finding it hard to concentrate and make decisions, or still be feeling unsafe and avoiding crowded public places like restaurants.

 But because the children you teach take their cues from you, it’s important to manage your stress and strengthen your resilience. Here are some tips about how you can do that:

• Exercise.
• Stick to a routine.
• Limit the time you spend on television and social media that has anything to do with COVID and look instead for good and hopeful news.
• Do something you’ve wanted to do but never had time for—plant a small garden, try a new recipe, take up hiking or pickleball.
• Connect with others—family members, organizations, old friends or new—where you may find support. Just like the children we care for, we get power from our relationships.
• Try to figure out what causes your stress and consider healthier ways to manage it. Instead of eating that chocolate bar, try going for a run.  
• Look for strengths you didn’t know you had, and nurture hope, a positive view of your own strengths, and your ability to develop through effort. 

When you encounter challenging behavior

It’s essential to try to understand what children are feeling underneath their challenging behavior. Then it becomes possible for you to empathize, connect with them, and respond to their needs.

First and foremost, they must feel physically and psychologically safe. As Alfie Kohn tells us, “When children feel safe, they can take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow.”

The most important element in a safe environment is a nurturing, positive, and stable relationship with the teacher, namely you. Children learn through relationships—through cuddling, eye contact, smiles, gestures, and responses to their own movements and sounds. Above all, they need lots of conversation because contact with others is how they learn about emotions and how to manage them.

Remember that trauma-related behavior often begins with anxiety, so reach out early by smiling or nodding or asking, “Are you okay?” or “Would you like some help?” Encourage children to identify and tap into their feelings while you stay calm, gentle, and positive. Instead of asking yourself, “What’s wrong with this child?” ask “What’s happened to this child?”

Here are some reminders of what else teachers can provide:

• Rich experiences that stimulate and enrich brain growth
• Consistent, predictable routines
• Advance warnings
• Proactive lessons in social and emotional skills
• Quiet areas away from active areas
• Dramatic, creative, free-play opportunities
• Tasks broken into smaller chunks and help in mastering them
• Opportunities to make choices, learn to solve problems, and practice making plans
• Positive attention when children are behaving appropriately 

Don’t forget that you are a role model for positive relationships. Respond promptly when children are distressed and listen carefully to everything they have to say. Be mindful, kind, and accepting. And remember to show appreciation for what they can do, instead of paying attention to what they cannot do.

 We’d like to hear about how you’ve been managing in the pandemic. Does this ring true for you, or have you had a very different experience?

Tags: COVID-19, pandemic, young children, social-emotional development, early childhood educators, challenging behavior, relationships

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